Welcome to The Whiffies 2011

[philp]

Welcome Ladies (what, well, we can only hope) and Gents to another fun filled evening of mirth and mayhem.

Just a year ago today (will you quit interrupting, yes I know it was in April last year but it would have been a year ago if those people with the rings weren't playing in the snow) we last celebrated the best of the best in What-Iffery and now we do it one more time.

My name is Phil and I am a whatiffer.  "Hi Phil".  I also am your Mini-Master of Ceremonies one more time. (Will someone please volunteer to take over, please!)

Way back in the mists of time, some guy asked 'What If I make a round rolling thing to carry loads?' and people called him a Genius (or more likely called him 'Ug')
Edison asked 'What if I run electricity through tungsten filiments?' and people called him a genius.
Steve Jobs asked 'What if we combine an iPod and a mobile?' and people called him a genius.
I asked 'What if Imperial Rome had steam-powered ornithopters?' and everyone called me an idiot.
Life can be so unfair.

So, sit back, grab a drink, and hopefully enjoy the show, right after a word from one of our sponsors.

[philp]

Sometimes I wish I was a cat. I mean, I spend all day fiddling around with the landing gear of my TSR.2 to get it just right so I'm happy. My cat spends thirty seconds finding the box of my TSR.2, sits down in it and goes to sleep, and he's happy all day!  (Don't you have a dog? Yeah, but the writer must have a cat, will have to talk to him after the show).

The Nominees for Best Imager are:
   •   Apophenia
   •   Spinners
   •   ElectrikBlue
   •   Matrixone
   •   Stargazer2006

And the winner is:

Stargazer2006

This is Stargazer's 2nd Whiffie for the same category.

[philp]

The Nominess for Best Profiler are:

   •   Coops213
   •   Maverick
   •   Clave
   •   Damian2
   •   Glanini

And the Winner is:

Clave

This is Clave's first Whiffie on his first Nomination.

[philp]

The Nominees for the Best Backstory are:

   •   GTX's Greater Australia
   •   Simie's at Vietnam War    
   •   Weaver's Patchwork World    
   •   PR19_Kit's Martin-Baker MB8 Marlin PR1
   •   JP Vieira The Portuguese Aeronautical industry

And the Winner is:

GTX's Greater Australia

[philp]

It's funny, the older I get, the less detail I can see. It makes me wish I was a rivet counter – they can always spot every tiny little detail on a model, but only if it's wrong!

And now, another Sponsor:

[philp]

This year's new Category had to do with putting the wings in the wrong place.  In other contests, you would be laughed and ridiculed.
But here, we call this pure Genius.


The Nominess for Best Reversed Winged Aircraft are:

   •   Eddie M. Wellington HG
   •   Green Dragon's B-29 Canard
   •   G.Marcat Phantom SCI-FI Channel
   •   Pablo1965's F4U Canard Corsair!
   •   Ed S's Tu4/Natterski Russian Mach 1

And the Winner is:

Green Dragon's B-29 Canard

[philp]

Now on to the Best Figure, it figures (Ha, that joke never gets old.  What do you mean it does?  Don't care, used it anyway)


The Nominess for Best Figure are:

   •   Puddingwrestler's Nazi Raptor Cavalry
   •   Alvis 3.14159's Doctor Deadly
   •   Philp's Gearloose
   •   Alvis 3.14159's Wedding cake
   •   Puddingwrestler's 10mm War Mummapach

And the Winner is:

Puddingwrestler's Nazi Raptor Cavalry



Now wait a minute.  I finally get nominated in a category, I run the show, and I still don't win. 
Must not have bribed myself enough.

[philp]

And now, a special treat, the first of our Guest Presenters, Proditor.

The lights dim as the voiceover returns "And now, presenting the 2011 Whiffie for Best Ship, a man who needs no introduction, Captain Ahab!" (thought you said it was Proditor?  Shh, he went to all the trouble for this, even the leg)

As the curtains part, a tall broad chested man dressed in the finest black and silver brocade coat and pants any captain has ever worn.  The shuffleclunk of his one good foot and the gleaming ivory peg leg fill the suddenly quiet theater as Ahab steps to the microphone.  He pauses a moment to ran his hand through his silver shot hair before glowering out to the audience.

"We are here to speak of ships.  From the looks of thee, ye have not set afoot 'pon sacred deck and hied the mighty seas.  Ye look to be weak craven dogs that should kneel, aye, and beg!"

A moment of uncomfortable silence follows before he sneers and grudgingly allows, "But aye, ye can in truth make a bonny contribution to the likes of Ship Whiffery."

"Tonight we are gathered to honor the best of the ships that sail the seven seas of the mind."

The Nominess for Best Ship are:

   •   chrisonord Honduras riverine patrol/assault craft
   •   Alvis 3.14159 HMCS Coho
   •   Thorvic's SCS
   •   thedarkmaster DHL K344
   •   Alvis USS Skipjackal

And the Winner is:

Alvis 3.14159 HMCS Coho

[philp]

And in news just to hand, Irish ship yards have just fitted a screen-door to a submarine without any changes to it's performance. Shamus O'Rourke, the foreman said 'It makes no difference at all to the way the submarine operates. Mind you, that one had a cat flap already.'

Hey, I don't write them I just uh, write, them, nevermind.

Need a new, or heavily used car?  Check out our next sponsor.

[philp]

The Nominess for Best Auto are:

   •   Dork the kit slayer The Pink Pirate
   •   deathjester Williams FW08B
   •   Radish; VTOL Beetle
   •   Puddingwrestler: The Tofudabeest
   •   Matrixone: US Army Staff car

And the Winner is:

Radish's VTOL Beetle



See what can happen Radish, when you send in pictures of your models instead of your outfits.

[philp]

The Nominees for Best Sci-Fi are:
   •   Hawkeye's Rocket Interceptor
   •   Pablo's Tribute to Sky Crawlers
   •   Sotoolslinger's Alphan Stingray
   •   AXU's IL-2 Starfighter
   •   proditor USAS Edison

And the Winner is:

Sotoolslinger's Alphan Stingray



Heard this got passed over at a local competition.  Their loss.

[philp]

The Nominees for Best Diorama are:

   •   Weaver's Trackover
   •   Swanny's BV-215
   •   Weaver; Gloster Goblin
   •   thedarkmaster The Plane Spotters
   •   Matrixone Raiders of the Reich

And the Winner is:

Weaver's Trackover



(I still liked the pic with the TARDIS in it.  Shh)

[philp]

Most of you guys should get one of these.

[philp]

And now, our second Guest Presenter, Puddingwrestler.



















Alvis 3.14159...'s Sculpin F.1

[philp]

The Nominess for Best Scratchbuild are:

   •   Pedrospe FAR 16
   •   Overkillers Bristol 178a
   •   Sotoolslinger's Alphan Stingray
   •   wacek85 "Heinrich,this thing will kick us!"
   •   Thorvic's SCS

And the Winner is:

wacek85's "Heinrich,this thing will kick us!"