The Olympics

[Radish]

I'm afraid most sport leaves me cold nowdays, as it's so fabricated and hyped up beyond its importance. I can appreciate a bunch of kids having fun kicking a ball about,a group of chaps or ladies doing the same, but the "professional" bunch are just beyond the pale. It's just another part of the entertainment business. Same with Wimbledon, The Olympics, etc....

I like the Python idea of the Upper Class Twit competition.....

[NARSES2]

There should surely be a flatulence contest, both for audio volume and with ignition source.

Over to you Narses2, Team GB's champion flatulator... 

I'd only win the "smellython" - always been silent but violent 

As for me, I'm looking forward to the games and will go along and watch the marathon (either male or female) and one of the road cycling races.

Mind you after yesterday one new Olympic event could well be the "finding your way around Stratford Interchange" 

[Weaver]

Today in the 200m are you faster than a Tiger Competition

Seamus Blanc the famous drunk was legless
It cost  the ever competitive Diane Sparrow an arm and a leg
Whilst George Atwell won by a nose
Last place David O'Leary went to pieces

The tiger is being treated for indigestion.

The important thing to remember in tiger racing is that you don't have to be faster than the tiger, you just have to be faster than somebody else who isn't faster than the tiger.....

[Radish]

Great Britain would be supreme in the Formation Lawn Mowing Competition.

And I like the idea of the 10,000 metres being run backwards.

[Weaver]

We should focus on events that GB is naturally good at. How about Olympic Cheapskating? There should be enough talent in business and the Civil Service to ensure gold (or at least gold-painted steel) all round.....

I'd suggest queing, but the Russians might have the advantage on us there......

[tigercat]

"Olympic complaining about the weather" must be a natural victory for Team GB then

[Weaver]

"Olympic complaining about the weather" must be a natural victory for Team GB then

Nice one! 

Actually, you could extend that to a Whinging Triathlon, where you have to complain convincingly about the weather, the government and the youth-of-today, all within a five minute time limit. Bonus points for managing to blame the weather on the government or the youth-of-today....

[Mossie]

Complaining could be a sport, split into several disciplines.  Team GB would do very well in several disciplines, although not all:

Complaining: Weather
Gold

Complaining: Government and politics
Bronze

Complaining: Youth of today
Gold

Complaining: Rude letter
Gold

Complaining: Muttering when you think others aren't listening
Silver

Complaining: When directly asked if there's a problem
Failed to qualify

[NARSES2]

Complaining: When directly asked if there's a problem
Failed to qualify

[scooter]

There's always the "Being Eaten by a Crocodile" Event (as from MP's Contractual Obligation Album) 

And we could always at the American event of "Tebowing"

[RussC]

And we could always at the American event of "Tebowing"

[pyro-manic]

I live in Weymouth, which is where all the sailing events will be held (well over 100 miles from London, incidentally ). Two weeks of hell, in an already-gridlocked seaside town that has been told to expect a population increase of thirty thousand during the events. The chef at work and I have agreed that a good way to liven things up would be to release some salt-water crocodiles into the bay.

Talking of the weather, it's been spectacular the past week or so! Clear skies and blazing sunshine, and 20 Celsius! Lovely. Of course, when July rolls around with the 'Limpics it'll probably snow...

[TimJ]

I like the Python idea of the Upper Class Twit competition.....

Boris Johnson would be a dead cert for a gold medal in that one. 

[RussC]

I live in Weymouth, which is where all the sailing events will be held (well over 100 miles from London, incidentally ). Two weeks of hell, in an already-gridlocked seaside town that has been told to expect a population increase of thirty thousand during the events. The chef at work and I have agreed that a good way to liven things up would be to release some salt-water crocodiles into the bay.

Talking of the weather, it's been spectacular the past week or so! Clear skies and blazing sunshine, and 20 Celsius! Lovely. Of course, when July rolls around with the 'Limpics it'll probably snow...

  Be sure to chum the water with some JMN's first, bring in the sharks as well 

[Radish]

Killer whales, mines.....