Unobtainium

[Weaver]

It's the material responsible for James Cameron's complete loss of credibility, and Michael Bay's otherwise inexplicably continuing career.

Hmm, I think those cases also feature substantial amounts of Applied Phlebotium aka Handwavium:

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AppliedPhlebotinum

[zenrat]

It will not surprise you all to discover that the Peoples Democratic Republic of Victoria has exclusive access to large deposits of Unobtanium (from a secret mine hidden under the Bass Strait).  When combined in a secret alloying process with Imaginatium and as much Beerium as you like the resulting material is called Whifftainium and has materials properties you would't believe...

[rickshaw]

Ah, but that young fellow, Einstein was a Tasmanian and he worked out how to split the Beer Atom!  He gave Australia the secret of fizzy beer and rewrote Antipodean history. 

[NARSES2]

perhaps the more knowledgable folk can combine the thread reference that PR19_kit gave us and this one for yet
more laughs.

Done 

[Weaver]

It will not surprise you all to discover that the Peoples Democratic Republic of Victoria has exclusive access to large deposits of Unobtanium (from a secret mine hidden under the Bass Strait).  When combined in a secret alloying process with Imaginatium and as much Beerium as you like the resulting material is called Whifftainium and has materials properties you would't believe...

Do you polish it with Beeyesoprene too?

[PR19_Kit]

It will not surprise you all to discover that the Peoples Democratic Republic of Victoria has exclusive access to large deposits of Unobtanium (from a secret mine hidden under the Bass Strait).  When combined in a secret alloying process with Imaginatium and as much Beerium as you like the resulting material is called Whifftainium and has materials properties you would't believe...

That'll be the opposite end of the node that's currently under Novaya Zemlya, so you'd better keep track of it as the darn thing will move when the other end drifts off.

You can't trust these nodes further than you can see them. (and you CAN'T see then as they are 2000 ft. underground! 

[Weaver]

Kit and Zenrat: have you realised yet that if you were both to tunnel through the middle of this node, leaving a solid wall around you, you could make a tunnel right through the planet? (screw the temperature, your tunnel is made of Unobtainium, right? ) That should reduce the postage costs to New Zealand....

[PR19_Kit]

That's a great idea, but there's one rather fundamental problem.

We'd probably need all the unobtainium that we've currently got to make a drill bit drill into the node. And then we'd need all the ore from the drilling to make MORE pure unobtainium to carry on drilling and so on. By the time we reached each other, somewhere in the middle, we'd have no unobtainium left, apart from a whole bunch of knackered drill bits...

We would have a big hole though. 

[zenrat]

PDRV scientists are currently experimenting with coating drill bits with the hardest substance known to man - Weetbix, milk & sugar left to set in the bottom of a bowl on the kitchen bench.

[NARSES2]

PDRV scientists are currently experimenting with coating drill bits with the hardest substance known to man - Weetbix, milk & sugar left to set in the bottom of a bowl on the kitchen bench.

Tell me about it  Can't stand Weetabix

[PR19_Kit]

PDRV scientists are currently experimenting with coating drill bits with the hardest substance known to man - Weetbix, milk & sugar left to set in the bottom of a bowl on the kitchen bench.

Ah yes, can you get an export certificate for that? It's unheard of in Novaya Zemlya, the rouble being in the state that it is.

[Librarian]

It's also a state of mind. Wife's use it to make apologies .

[zenrat]

PDRV scientists are currently experimenting with coating drill bits with the hardest substance known to man - Weetbix, milk & sugar left to set in the bottom of a bowl on the kitchen bench.

Ah yes, can you get an export certificate for that? It's unheard of in Novaya Zemlya, the rouble being in the state that it is.

I'm sure we can come to an arrangement Comrade.  In exchange for the secret to growing longer wings...

[Weaver]

PDRV scientists are currently experimenting with coating drill bits with the hardest substance known to man - Weetbix, milk & sugar left to set in the bottom of a bowl on the kitchen bench.

My aunt is reputed to make mince pies that have found military applications as everything from battleship anchors to armour-piercing shot before now. I could get her to send you some, although you'd be wise to check the maximum load capacity of your local dockyard cranes to avoid a failed delivery. You should also be careful to organise your operation in such a way that you dispose of the last pie before taking delivery of the next one, since when two or more are located within a few hundred yards of each other, they tend to start orbiting their common centre of gravity, which can be disruptive and inconvenient.

[scooter]

Kit and Zenrat: have you realised yet that if you were both to tunnel through the middle of this node, leaving a solid wall around you, you could make a tunnel right through the planet? (screw the temperature, your tunnel is made of Unobtainium, right? ) That should reduce the postage costs to New Zealand....

Thing is, they'll both be running right smack into the drilling operations of the Tsingtao Republic.