Kamov Ka-239 "Haggard"

[John Howling Mouse]

I usually try not to boast but I'm setting out here to accomplish a new world's record of sorts:  the WUH.

Yes, the World's UGLIEST Helicopter: the Ka-239 "Sword."
But aptly codenamed by NATO as Nato Codename "Haggard."

I think I can do it, too.  Won't be easy but, if anyone can design and build something ugly on purpose, I can.  Will make the Robinson look manly by comparison.  Westland's Wasp, with its sad little dangling shopping cart wheels and go-no-go engine will look like an award-winner if seen next to this thing I'm dreaming up.  A Chinook will seem elegant in contrast.

Even Kamov's past ugly exports will look artistic next to the Haggard.

The drawn lines you see are for chuttin' and choppin'
The main fuselage will be lengthened about 1-1/4 inch by using two kits.  Winglets will house a ridiculous amount of overdone ordnance.  Festooned with all sorts of kitbashed/scratchbuilt warts, humps and bumps she will be.  The spindly twin booms of the original kit will be replaced with the inverted booms from Testors' OV-10A Bronco.  Vertical fins set will be even UGLIER than those on the Huskie and any Kamov to date.  Rear landing gear: oversized dualies c/w skis like on the Huskie (but uglier) and fixed to enormous finned outriggers.  Front landing gear: big shopping cart wheels twirling around like on the Wasp.  But uglier.  The pair of single-blade intermeshing rotors from the Huskie have already been turned into two sets of triple-bladed rotors that will be stacked (not intermeshing) like those of the Ka-60, etc.  I read that the Kamov twinned rotor helo's have tremendous lifting power for the horsepower generated by their engines.  So this one will have twin turbojet engines.  Or something like that, as long as their nacelles are also ugly.

Paintscheme?  Something ugly.  I like the way grease and oil stains appear on ugly matte grey.  Might go with a two-toned sea gray.  FS-UGLY01, I believe is the official color specification.  Maybe some rust-colored primer (zinc chromate just isn't ugly enough) where some groundcrew fitting a panel here and there and said, "This thing is so ugly I'm not going to waste painting over it."

While my Testors box states 1:48, as we've already determined, it is actually a 1:32 kit.  This will become a 1:35 model, complete with Tamiya figures.  Even the aircrew and ground-crew will be ugly.

It's a big challenge but one I feel up to.  The World's Ugliest Helicopter is coming soon to a What If modeling site near you...!

[John Howling Mouse]

Some principal inspiration.

That, and while building the WUH, I believe I will get drunk for the first time in my life just to help this thing end up being even uglier!

http://home.wanadoo.nl/designers/aircraft/...awasp/awasp.htm

[Eddie M.]

As Scotty once said to Capt. Kirk," It's not possible Capt!" I think you're up to the challenge. I think no matter how hard you try to make it ugly, It'll still look cool! B)
 Eddie

[dragon]

The problem is that if you do extreme ugly, you will end up with the "Pug" effect.  The pug is a really ugly dog in detailed comparison with other dogs, however because all these "qualities" are in one small package it becomes "cute".  

Now, is it going to be a civilian Helo or a military Helo?

[Tophe]

the World's UGLIEST Helicopter, Codename "Haggard."

Uh? "Haggard" is not an insult meaning ugly...    Lots of Merl Haggard's songs were very beautiful: Where have you been, Natural High...    

[cthulhu77]

well, sir, I think that that will be one hell of a butt ugly chopter!  At the same time, as cool as stated above...maybe it will even go into production

             greg

[Ollie]

Whoa!

Way to go Barry!

 

[The Rat]

Even the aircrew and ground-crew will be ugly.

Start submitting pictures of yourselves chaps, he can sculpt us for that!  ^_^

Looks like one really fun project Barry, and one that I think Lance will be watching with great interest.    

[John Howling Mouse]

The problem is that if you do extreme ugly, you will end up with the "Pug" effect.  The pug is a really ugly dog in detailed comparison with other dogs, however because all these "qualities" are in one small package it becomes "cute".  

Now, is it going to be a civilian Helo or a military Helo?

Yep, like the Gannet.  So ugly that I end up loving it.  

It will be military: "Winglets will house a ridiculous amount of overdone ordnance."

Kind of an all-purpose piece of junk.  

Bought 4 sets of Tamiya 1:35 figures to go with this today as well.  

I'm off work next week and, among a spreadsheet filled with to-do lists, I do hope to get some progress on this concept and my Morsair (straight-winged Corsair) and T-51 Sentinel (Mustang trainer T-Tail turboprop) and finish my F-86T SabreHawk....    

And, X-Toff: "haggard" IS "having a worn or emaciated appearance; as in "wasted"
so it would be an apt NATO codename for yet another Helo they don't really like.

Hee hee hee I am such a dweeb (but it beats the alternative: the "cool" kids are never happy).   :dum:  

[dragon]

Military, huh?  You will have to figure out how to paint extremely amateurish "nose art" (colors don't match, picture barely looks like what it is supposed to despict, etc), I suppose.  Then you could nickname the beast in question Haggrid (is that how they spell the name of the Harry Potter character?).

 

[Davey B]

Hmm, this could be interesting...  ^_^

Just the two contra-rotors, or does the triple- or quadruple-decker beckon?

[lancer]

Even the aircrew and ground-crew will be ugly.

Start submitting pictures of yourselves chaps, he can sculpt us for that!  ^_^

Looks like one really fun project Barry, and one that I think Lance will be watching with great interest.  

Me watching??? Why??

[Captain Canada]

Great stuff, Baz ! And in the words of that pig in Homers quest for obesity " you can do it ! "



Love the idea of having a whole ground crew. But, how can you say that the little wasp was ugly ? I love those things ! I just wish there were some about in 350th scale, as I'd build a million of 'em !

Such a tough looking little critter.......

 

[John Howling Mouse]

Hmm, this could be interesting...  ^_^

Just the two contra-rotors, or does the triple- or quadruple-decker beckon?

Triple or Quad-stacked rotors?    Oooooooooo, dangerous idea!

Would it "fly" though (pardon the pun)?

*******************************

And, Todd, the Wasp had that "Pug" factor noted by Dragon above: to me, it was so ugly it was cute.  It took me six months of ebaying to get that 1:48 Fujimi kit of it.

But tough-looking, though?  I still think of it as an ugly little egg-beater some designer decided to attach a couple of rotors to and used some left-over shopping cart wheels they had laying about.  This all started late one night when the designer was drunk at work (avoiding going home to his less-than-salubrious wife) and his boss saw the horrific design the next day, deciding to utilize the principle design at a Board meeting in hopes of getting the designer fired for obvious drunkeness----only it back-fired as the design was accepted by the BoD since the designer's wife was having an affair with the Chief Financial Officer who wanted to keep things quiet by keeping the designer-dude busy with work.

Do you see why I seldom write back-stories for my What If models???

 :dum:    

[Captain Canada]

some designer decided to attach a couple of rotors to and used some left-over shopping cart wheels they had laying about.

Now that I've finished picking the chicken noodles out of the keys.........



That's one way to keep Bubbles in buisness, eh ?